The best way would obviously have been to include all the information in the Kickstarter update. Even if you didn't receive the e-mail you can just go there and read it. From the text in the e-mail it appears that the link isn't personal (since they explicitly states that they need your e-mail to match on both platforms) - but who knows?
The company is just really bad at communicating, and due to that I will unfortunately avoid them in the future regardless of the quality of their end-product.
I can agree about the confusing state of things.
However, I have got no email about picking color or tophats. I can find no such information on the kickstarter either. It appears though as some people have got the email. But not me.
I am also an super early bird backer, and should have 2 tophats included in my order by default. I expect getting an email where I can chose my color + place additional tophat orders.