I think the research recently has proven otherwise. At work, but this article summarizes findings on ram speeds yielding performance boosts: http://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/highspeed-ddr4-shown-to-improve-in-game-performance/ - they quote this article.
Looks like I underestimated the performance gap between the bottom (2133MHz) and top (4000MHz) frequencies of RAM. Looks like the diff between is closer to 10-20% depending on application! Encoding video. Big difference. In gaming.. FPS the gap isn't as huge. But still larger than I thought.
SO-DIMM is currently capped at 3000MHz. Example here. So, I think it's fair to say the Mobo Manufacturers that go SO-DIMM are leaving say... 5% gaming performance on the table? More for other applications.